Let’s break down my dating history into numbers.
In a period of 6 months I went through 8,000 profiles on 13 different dating sites. I had a list of 20 things that would prevent me from dating someone. A list of 4 things I needed to have. I kept a ratio of 80/20 to see if I’d be interested to go on a first date. *Prospective dates could have apparent flaws but only at a 20% ratio to 80% positive qualities. All of the profiles had to be within a 500 mile radius. Aged between (keep it together here folks) 29-45. Of the 8,000 profiles I narrowed it down to 23 men I’d like to date and became fairly aggressive to get them to ask me out. I had a second date with only 4 of them. 3 got a third date and extended dates beyond that. 1 of them moved. 1 was nice but not for me and 1 became my best friend. 6 months, 8,000 profiles, 23 dates. That’s a small amount of time and a large amount of dates. Well, in the next 12 months I added another 40 first dates to that number so in 18 months I went on a total of 63 first dates. I met some truly amazing people. Interesting backgrounds, careers, travels, points of view and ideas were shared. I walked out on 2 dates. Both within the first 5 minutes of sitting down. 1 date brought his girlfriend. Another 1 didn’t speak ANY English and had been communicating through google translate on the dating site. 1 talked about his ex for 2 hours. 1 left me to go help his ex with a flat tire. I dated hippies, rangers, baseball players, lawyers, executives, a race car driver, musician, NASA, surfer, pilots, surgeon, political scientist, brokers, brilliant guys, not-so-brilliant guys, a model, a producer, firefighters, fathers, republicans, democrats, and on and on and on. I had fun on nearly every date because there was always something to learn from each person.
Since those first 6 months, I slowed down but added another 6,000 or so to total looked at profiles somewhere in the range of 14,000. My list of 20 things I could never date was torn up and thrown away after I was reminded by friend how the law of attraction works. My 4 favorite things to find in a person are still written down though. But it all comes down to the 1 trait that matters most to me-Happiness.
I had read somewhere before I had my first first date that you can find your “soulmate” after approximately 800 people that you meet. One of them is an actual soulmate. A perfect partner. I knew I couldn’t possibly go on 800 dates in a my lifetime (although this number was to include men and women with whom you’d have met) let alone a decade. After around 75 first dates I got really comfortable dating a guy and eventually it became exclusive. Not on purpose but he was sweet, insanely handsome and he made me feel like a 1,000,000 bucks. But long-term potential just wasn’t there and it ended with us being friends.
I will clarify that I am not dating to find someone to marry. I can’t say for certain but I don’t see marriage in my future. I’ll be content with a partner and an equal.