State of Rush

I’ve developed insomnia.  Six months after my first sleepless night I’m surviving on high doses of caffeine in the mornings and power naps throughout the day.  I have dealt with this throughout my life, although for much shorter periods of time.  I have a week or two every year that I spend up all night.  But months at a time of three or less hours and possibly only one cycle of REM, I’m beat.  Near lethargic.  Add extreme adventures like a birthday milestone, a RAGNAR, a trip to London, surgery, 9 all-nighters in one month (for work reasons), Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years’ holidays, beach trips to meet up with your soulmates and you get delirium even without sleepless nights.  And those are only the extreme adventures.  I am going and doing every second and I love it.

I tried everything I could think of to get some rest.  If it’s sold OTC I’ve tried it, doctor prescribed drugs did nothing for me, I quit electronics at 7pm, doubled up exercise, tried meditation and massages.  My last untried suggestion was to buy myself a bus ticket and bring a pillow and blanket.  I’m tempted.  I’ve already checked out Greyhound.  This may be happening soon.  Since I’ve never done a bus trip, it’ll be something new anyway.  I know how it would turn out though; I’ll meet someone interesting and end up chatting the entire time.  Because we all know I like interesting people and there’s something to learn from everybody.

With all these sleepless nights, you cannot imagine where endless hours of thought can take you.  My brain has processed a lot of information.  Possibly hallucinating thoughts where the real world is combined with things that only exists in my head.

I’ve convinced that I’m partly to blame for my insomnia.  As I’m writing this, I am currently watching Netflix, eating dinner, reading e-mails, and I’m in three texting conversations.  This is a habit that I need to break.  Fast.  I’m completely overstimulated all the time.  I need more quiet time.  Less stuff going on around me.  Less of being in a constant state of rush.



February in a word:  sleepless


But a few nights were worth not sleeping.